Shivani Karia recently embarked on her own grey journey and she’s sharing each step with the LITG community. This week Shivani shares what happened after a huge lunge forward in her journey!

A little over three weeks ago, I broke the news that I had taken an exciting yet incredibly difficult step forward into the grey – I had accepted a position at an amazing (if I do say so myself) NYC ad agency. Since then, I’ve been noticeably absent, but today, I’m sharing part 1 of what happened after that acceptance!

The two weeks I had before my big move to the East Coast were far from easy, to say the least. Each day was filled with what seemed like were a billion emotions, racing through my mind at all hours of the day. They ranged from pure astonishment (think: Oh my God, I’M moving to NYC?!) to full-on excitement (think: Oh my God, I can’t wait to start taking the subway to work!) to insurmountable panic (think frequent “oh my God..oh my God..what am I doing” with very quick, heavy breathing).

The thing is, and what I didn’t realize at the time, is that this is completely normal. Second guessing yourself, questioning whether you’re making the right decisions is not an individual, singular behavior. Everyone does it. It’s just that nobody really talks about it because it is so uncomfortable. It can be seen as a sign of weakness that shows an incredible amount of vulnerability and uncertainty in a world where being tough, strong and confident is valued and respected more. Something to think about, right?

Personally, even though the constant second guessing was a huge weight on my shoulders, in retrospect, I’m very glad I went through it. For me, it made me think about the reasons behind my decision to quit my job and move. It made me dig deep into what I was doing, why I was doing it and what I hoped to gain out of my experiences. I learned that second guessing doesn’t necessarily have to be negative; it can be flipped into something positive. When it comes to second guessing, here’s what I have to say: Let it lead you to where you want to be, what you want to be doing, and why you want to be doing it. You’ll come out of it stronger.

Needless to say, I made it through my last two weeks at home. I made it through the roller coaster of emotions, the tornado that hit my room while I attempted to pack (almost) everything I owned, and the emotional goodbyes.

I’ve now been in New York City for 2 1/2 weeks and so far, I absolutely love it. So far, this living in the grey thing has been pretty amazing. Why exactly? You’ll find out in part 2 of “The Big Move!”

Check out Shivani’s previous posts here and here.

Shivani Karia, an Indian American raised in the heart of the Midwest, is determined step out of the box and experience all the grey that life has to offer. She writes a feature for Live in the Grey called 'Diary of a Grey Life.'

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